When the incident I am relating
occurred, I was a student of the 10th class. I was suffering from
constant stomachache for about a year; I used to vomit blood five to
seven times a day. In spite of such a bad condition, I attended all the
Bhajans arranged by Sri Sathya Sai Seva Samiti, Dharamsala (H P.)
regularly. I was also a student of the Bal Vikas at that time.
One day at school the
mathematics class was going on. I felt like vomiting and asked for
permission to go out. When I came back, my teacher stared at me and
said: "You are a devotee of Sri Sathya Sai Baba; why does not He cure
you with His Divine ash (Vibhuti)?"
These words of the
teacher hurt me very much. I came back home with a heavy heart. I
decided not to take any medicine but only "Vibhuti.” Even then my
condition was not improving. This was a great test for me.
It was the month of
July. My school was closed for two months. My mother decided to take me
to the Post Graduate Institute at Chandigarh for treatment, as my
condition was getting worse day by day.
It was a Monday, near
about 2 P. M. I was lying on my bed and reading the book, "Sathyam,
Sivam, Sundaram." There was a passage in it where Swami says: "I dwell
in the hearts of My devotees." I thought, "What Swami said here is not
true in my case. Swami is not in my heart. If Swami is in my heart, why
don't I feel His presence?" Thinking about all this I fell asleep. Then
Sai Baba of Shirdi appeared in my vision and from the other side Sri
Sathya Sai Baba appeared and then both merged with each other and after
that there was only our beloved Swami. An enchanting smile was playing
on His lips. He said, "Jivatma! Awake! Arise! See Who is before you!" I
replied with great joy, "Swami, Bhagawan Himself is standing before me.”
Swami became serious and said, "Recognise Me and give Me a place in
your heart.” I answered, "Swami. I don't have the capability to keep
such a great soul in my heart." Swami said, "Keep Me always in your
heart.”
After that, I changed
the topic and asked "Swami, I have great anger in me. You say that anger
is a vice. In my anger I feel like destroying everything that comes
before me, but anyhow I control myself.” At this Swami laughed and said,
"Even then this doesn't help you." I requested, "Please advise me about
the way I can control myself.” Swami answered, "When your temper rises,
drink some cold water, take a walk around the garden or lie down on
your bed.” I asked Bhagawan "We call You so much, but even then you
don't come. How should we call You?"
Swami replied with a
smile: "I am with you every moment; you yourself cannot feel My
presence.” He continued: "Whenever you get the opportunity to serve
anyone, serve him well. While serving, don't think of what you will get
in return. You attend all Bhajans and Bal Vikas regularly; it makes Me
feel very happy, but don't think when you come to Puttaparthi Swami will
reward you. Do Seva without thinking of its reward.” Then Bhagawan
said, "Swami is in your heart and wants you to get cured.”
And true to His words,
Swami cured me and the roots of that illness have completely
disappeared. I don't know in what words I can thank Bhagawan. I can only
ask for His blessings and pray to Him to show me the path of goodness.
