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I am writing this from Brindavan. I came here from California about a month ago. In that time, I feel like I have died and been reborn!
To explain: Let me go back to about a year ago, when I was here last. At that time, when I took leave of Swami, He gave me permission to return to India for a prolonged stay, starting this October. "You come then," He said, "I will have some work for you to do.” I began planning for a Sabbatical from my teaching duties at an Institute in California.
But then, during the summer, serious illness struck. The diagnosis was a probable cancer in the liver area. Tests indicated `positive'. A biopsy and liver scan were recommended. But, I had heard of a metabolic therapy called 'Gerson Therapy' (Disclaimer: The contents of this article are purely the views of the author. We do not endorse any such alternative therapy) that was effective against all types of Cancer. So, I went to Mexico and commenced this very intensive cancer regimen. For two months, I battled the illness. All thoughts of the Sabbatical in India vanished as the available energy was directed towards staying alive.
Even though the body was very sick and oftentimes the mind got discouraged and was ready to give up, yet the inner man never doubted that Swami was with me, that He knew of this illness, and that, in time, He would pull me through.
After two months, the therapy took hold and I felt very much better. I knew then that I must go to India, if only for a short visit to thank Baba and re dedicate my life at His Lotus Feet. I couldn’t stay in India for more than a few weeks, since the therapy needed to continue for several months more to make sure there could be no relapse.
I wrote to my aged parents (my father is 88 and my mother is 85) who live on the other side of the U. S. Continent, that I planned a short visit to India, to see Baba. They got terribly worried. "You are not well enough to undertake such a trip. They are having floods and epidemics there. There wont be any good food for you,” they wrote back. "Why don’t you telephone Him, instead of going; it will be much better for your health and cheaper too," they suggested.
I got their letter on the 10th October, the day before Yom Kipur, the Jewish high holy day. They are devoted Jews. In honour of them and in gratitude to Swami for my new feelings of well being, I decided for the first time in many years to observe this Jewish holy day of Atonement, by fasting and immersing myself in prayer. This was the first interruption in two months of the therapy, which called for hourly feedings of specially prepared juices and medications. I asked my nurse helpers to take the day off. I felt I had only one duty to perform that day, and that was, to write to my parents and wish them the very best for the Jewish New Year and also to explain to them that it was not possible to telephone Baba, but to make them happy, I would at least try to send Him a telegram, and ask for His directions.
As I went to the Institute Office to mail the letter to my parents, I thought about what I might say in a telegram to Swami. While absorbed in these thoughts, I heard my name being called by the Secretary, who had seen me approaching the Office. "Al, there is a long distance phone call for you from the International Telegraph Office, in San Francisco."
I very rarely receive phone calls in the Office since I am there so infrequently and I have never received a telegram before. So, I was startled, to say the least. The operator on the other end of the line relayed the telegram message to me, it is from Prasanthi Nilayam, India. It says, "Please come immediately."
I couldn’t believe my ears. "My God! Is this real?"
Up to that moment, I was immersed in my life at the Institute, teaching, keeping up with the rigorous demands of the ther¬apy, and all the hundred daily involvements and chores that we have in our home setting. Now, everything changed instantly. I was galvanised into action. I didn’t know when I could actually leave, but, I ran home and started packing. Some friends heard the news and came over to help. One called the airlines to find out what flights were scheduled that day. Another offered to drive me to the nearest airport at Monterey, 75 kilometres away. Another got together some food for the long journey ahead, since I was on a restricted organic diet. Another brought me 600 dollars in cash, with the statement, "You'll need money for the trip; You can pay me back when you return." Another, a Catholic sister studying there, gave me her treasured Cross to take along to ask Swami to bless it. Still others came by just to give their well wishes for a safe journey and asked to be remembered to Baba.
It was as if Swami's Shakti and Prema had suddenly crystallized in this remote place. Busy as I was with packing, I choked up at this unfolding scene of love. In no time, the packing was done, and all the other matters, related to my house and classes, and the people helping me with the therapy, were taken care of.
Within less than two hours of receiving the telegram message, I was on my way, on a 13,000-mile journey to Swami. A new non stop service from Los Angeles to London and London to Bombay which was leaving within an hour of the arrival of my connecting flight in Los Angeles would get me to Bombay in record time!
Coming to that first small airport at Monterey without reservations and learning that the various flights were all fully booked, posed no real problem at all for me, since I knew that Divine Energy was fuelling my present journey. Somehow, a seat always appeared. I made good my promise to myself that day to take no food or drink for 24 hours. Somewhere over the North Atlantic, I untied the food basket that my friend had fixed, and, closing my eyes, offered a shiny, juicy apple to the Lord. Then, opening my eyes, I looked around the darkened aircraft. I remember the sense of awe I felt at finding myself in these surroundings as I broke the Yom Kipur fast. A sweet sleep followed, high up at 40,000 feet. Soon enough, we were in London and 12 hours later, at Bombay.
I had no visa; but, the Customs Official decided that last year's visa would do. I didn't argue! Collecting my luggage, I ran for the Indian Airlines flight which was to take off for Bangalore in 30 minutes. Of course, it was full; but, as with the other flights, space became available. Anyway I landed at Bangalore. It happened that the Chief Minister of Karnataka was on the plane. A driver who was a Sai devotee had delivered someone to the Bangalore Airport. Hearing that his Chief Minister was aboard, and curious to see him, he hung around the airport, until my flight landed. Coming out of the terminal, I connected with the driver, just as he was about to drive off to the West End Hotel, where he was stationed. "Sai Ram. How about taking me to Prasanthi Nilayam?" I asked him.
"Yes,” he said, "but Baba is supposed to be coming back to Bangalore tomorrow,” he replied. Let us go, anyway,” I told him. "O.K. We can stop at my place on the way and I'll tell my wife I wont be home this evening" "Good,” I said. I felt at peace inside; the journey was coming to an end.
Three hours later, we were at the Darshan Line and my heart rejoiced as I again saw the Lord. He greeted me, with, "Achha! When did you arrive?” I knew was home.
That is really the end of the story. Baba stayed for a week more in Puttaparthi and then, came to Whitefield, Bangalore. At the time of this writing, the daily Darshan has been continuing for three weeks and a half, and my heart is filling up as I sit happily at His Feet basking in His Grace. Can you now see, why I said I feel a little like I died and was re born?
Swami has given me permission to teach at the College in Brindavan. It looks like the Sabbatical has started after all, although under totally unexpected circumstances! Even if He tells me to leave tomorrow there is never really any return to the previous life.
Every time one comes anew to Baba, one's life starts anew. Clearly the illness was a purification that He sent. Baba told me during the interview that the body was now healed. "I am always with you. I never forget you for a moment. I am in your heart; and, you are in mine,” He said.
When our beloved Sai says that, to us what else is there to do but to fall at the Feet in gratitude? What a wonderful good fortune we all enjoy to be alive in this time in the presence and knowledge of the Yuga Avatar, our dear Swami.
He says He never forgets us even for a moment if only we would follow His lead and never forget Him even for a moment. Truly, what other Sadhana is there for us, but to steadily and constantly love Him, love Him, love Him?
The mail brought me a letter from the State President of the U. P. State Sai Organisation informing me that Swami had approved my name to act as the Group teacher of the U. P. girl students selected for the summer course at Brindavan 1978.
The morning session of the Valedictory function started with Swami's Discourse consisting of references to the ordeals of His student life and ending with His exhorting the students to lead a life of Discipline, Duty and Devotion. Then He graciously allowed all participants the most coveted opportunity of 'Padanamaskar', turn by turn, and giving them 'Vibhuti packets' with His own hands. When my turn came, I prostrated myself at His feet. As I stood up, I uttered, inadvertently "Swami. Please bless me so that I can translate your 'Chinna Katha' in Urdu.” Swami, then looked at me closely for a moment and smiled. He graciously nodded and said, "Yes, Yes, do it.” Then He blessed me with eight packets of Vibhuti. I was too overwhelmed with joy to remember how I walked back to my seat. The fact that Swami spoke to me and blessed me made me feel an inward sense of spiritual wealth. After His Discourse was over, we returned to our dormitory. I carefully preserved this Blessed Vibhuti in an empty yellow tin box and tightly closed its lid.
In the early morning of the 21st June '78 while the grounds of Brindavan were echoing the holy chantings of the Suprabhatam and the Nagarsankirtan was about to move, we were tearfully boarding the minibus—casting a last lingering look at the Sanctuary of Peace. Hardly had we outgrown our sad farewell sentiment when we found ourselves at Bangalore railway station. Soon we settled down in our seats. We closed the sliding door of the coupe from inside, and set about attending to morning chores.
I now had arrived on a point where another railway track intersected the one I had been following. "Won't you show me the correct path O Baba?" I cried, as hot tears rolled down my cheeks. Next moment I was running again. Surely I had made the choice of my course but whither was it leading me? There was no going back now and so I ran on. And lo, suddenly in the green bushes down the railway track, there glittered a small yellow circular thing. It was the Vibhuti tin indeed. Ah, I had found it. I hungrily jumped towards it and picking it I pressed it against my heart and touched it with my head. Overwhelmed with joy I found myself crying again—but now the tears were of Gratitude.
Instinctively then, I wanted to run back to my train to share my Joy with the Sai devotees aboard it. I looked back; but where was the train? Evidently it had travelled far off. From the distance between us it appeared like a small toy-train. But still like one possessed I started running towards it. The return race was an ordeal. My feet seemed to be out of gear. I was panting with fatigue but I had no other way. Presently the train began assuming proportion and it looked larger in size. Had it come to a standstill or had I covered the gaping distance? I wondered. In the next few moments I was in a close range of it. Visibly there was no railway station for its stoppage, and yet the train had stopped, as if only to collect me! How could this be? But before I could think more I almost collapsed. The good doctor and some others helped me get into the train. They laid me on my berth and gave me Vibhuti dissolved in water to drink and also applied some of it on my forehead. Soon I recovered. I needed no more medicine.
Devotee: Baba is responsible for the entire Universe, not just this world.
Sri Sathya Sai: It is like this: Baba is the switch. The switch is turned on and all goes forward automatically. As the key is turned in a car, all parts work automatically. In similar way, the Universe is automatically regulated. So called miracles are not miracles, nor do they prove Divinity! Baba's endless work in all the worlds—easy, no weight, always happy—that is the miracle.
Devotee: Baba is responsible other Worlds as well, is He not?
Sri Sathya Sai: Yes. Saints, Rishis, Yogis, everywhere. He is attending to the guidance protection and welfare of these, wherever they may be.
Devotee: Baba has the inconceivably immense task of the Universe. How can He afford to spend time talking to people like us?
Sri Sathya Sai: Baba, with his limitless bodies, is everywhere doing the tasks, a thousand heads—hands—feet "Sahasra seersha purushah sahasraksha sahasrapad" It is just this body that sits here talking to you. That is Baba's omnipresence.
Devotee: All the forms and personalities one sees around are impermanent. Baba also appears to be one of these objects.
Sri Sathya Sai: The difference is that men come into bodies with tendencies and the results of actions. Baba takes this body without any tendencies, completely free, no desires, no attachments, always happy.
Devotee: When one sees Baba as a form amongst all perishable forms, cannot one point to Him as the One Reality amongst all these impermanent dream—like forms?
Sri Sathya Sai: Yes. The One Reality is Baba, Baba means, Being Awareness Bliss-Atma, the One Reality.
Devotee: The Avatar is never born, but, He appears to take birth in a body, which then gradually grows to full size in the ordinary way. Does the Avatar have additional similar bodies?
Sri Sathya Sai: No. The Avatar takes only the one body, such as you have described. For, example, there is one sun; but, the suns rays are everywhere. Are the rays of the sun different from the sun?
Devotee: Just: under the skies, about an inch, there seems to be a mirror; when I see Baba outside, I also see Him in that mirror. The reflection mirror mirrors Baba's every move. Of these two, the Baba I see with my eyes, and the Baba of the inside reflection, which is the most real?
Sri Sathya Sai: Consciousness is a reflection. If pure, it is a clear reflection. It is by the Sankalpa of Baba that the reflection is seen.
Devotee: Is it to the inside Baba that prayers and devotion should be addressed?
Sri Sathya Sai: When Baba is found with in, He will be seen everywhere outside.
Devotee: When one enquires within, "I" is found to be "I"; that I is thought to be oneself. But, then, it seems to me that "I" is not me at all; but, is Baba.
Sri Sathya Sai: That is correct. "I" is Baba. Have no doubt. You and Baba are One. Not the tendencies and so on. But, the essential "you”, and Baba are one and the same..."I" is Baba.
