Sai Spiritual Showers - Issue 4/05

Sometimes we are blinded by temptations. Then, even the simplest logic cannot penetrate our mind. We overlook explicit warnings given by the Lord. Three years ago, unfortunately I fell a prey to such a temptation and went through a tremendous amount of suffering.

It all happened in the summer of 1984, when I went to Karnataka to visit my parents. Through a friend, we (I and my parents) met a man who claimed to be the incarnation of Shakti, the "Divine Mother". We were then told that Baba frequently manifests in him and everything he says is actually Swami's Message, to whoever prays for it.

The story was temptingly attractive because, Baba is the Incarnation of Siva-Shakti. We completely succumbed to the possibility of overnight salvation and the assured solution to all our worldly problems. In the process we completely ignored Baba's repeated warnings that He does not talk or work through a third person.

A person who can lie in the name of Swami in spite of being aware of His being Divine can stoop to any level. That exactly was the case with this man. Eventually he caused us a lot of grief and damage. I would not go into details, but what was worse was that we completely lost confidence and faith in our own selves. This man slowly enslaved us; his threats induced fear and his orders caused anguish. This went on for nearly two years. In December 1985 1 visited Karnataka again for a month. What I faced for a month was atrocious and this man did the worst possible things claiming them to be Swami's instructions.

When I returned to the States, I was totally confused, terribly depressed and became a nervous wreck. I could not forget what I had gone through and was completely torn apart. My parents were worried about me. They visited Puttaparthi. They held a letter to Baba praying for my well-being. Baba is Omniscient. During Darshan He walked straight to my father and accepted the letter. When I was informed about this act of grace, I got a gleam of hope, but I was still in the grip of fear, doubt and depression. I could not meditate or do my work at the university. Several times I felt as if I was losing my sanity.

One morning while lying depressed in my bed the inner voice said, "Only the Lord can save me, I have to surrender to Him"; and I prayed. I called Baba with all my heart. This time He answered; within a few minutes I felt a change. I could feel inner strength; all of a sudden, my depression was gone and I was my own self again. "No more blind faith" I decided. I have to find out from Baba about this whole "Shakti" business. I also realised that there were others like me who were in the same boat as I was, trapped by this man but unable to leave him because they thought that he was Swami's instrument.

I decided to write to Swami. I made discreet enquiries from Sal devotees in New York whether Swami ever replies to letters or not. Everyone said no one had heard of such an incident and the chances were rather remote. However, something inside me kept telling me that Baba will rescue me and answer my query. I thought. Swami receives thousands of letters everyday and how can I expect Him to write to me. The inner voice was very strong and I wrote a long explicit letter to Baba; I poured my heart out since He was the only one I could confide in.

It is true that in His infinite mercy He always comes to the rescue of the needy. Within a few days I received a telegram from Swami, which clearly said that the "Shakti matter is completely false" and of "bad quality". He also instructed me "not to believe such people" and not to "follow them blindly" and to "inform others" who had fallen into this man's trap, which I promptly did.

Blessed are we who live in this point of time, when the Lord directly comes to our rescue when we get into trouble even though we disobey Him.

Sai Spiritual Showers - Issue 3/05

One March evening I found myself dropped like a hot cake within the towering grey walls of a convent school run by foreign missionaries in a Himalayan town and the gates closed behind me. I found myself amidst sons of ministers, aristocrats, diplomats, and what not. I found something missing in them. I could not help stealing away from their company. At times I felt lost in this big world, but slowly learnt to accept it as a part of my life. I kept myself at a safe distance from the stern looking missionaries. Not a day passed without my hearing the "whoosh! Whoosh!" of a cane and uncontrollable sobs and cries of some unfortunate child. I was destined to spend a fraction of my life there.

One day I received a rude shock. A photograph of Bhagawan Baba which I had with me was taken away and was locked in a cupboard. In my loneliness I derived consolation from the book, "Sathya Sai Speaks" which was kept well hidden beneath my bed as I feared it would be confiscated too.

One cold night, just before supper, the warden came in with a grim face and announced, "Henceforth none shall keep any books beneath their beds. If books are found they shall be confiscated. Even if any religious books are found, they shall be torn into bits. The boys found guilty shall be caned severely." My heart leaped on hearing this and it raced fast. The supper refused to pass down my gullets. I rose and walked out of the dining hall.

I tucked my gloved hands into the pockets of my overcoat and went out into the open grounds behind the convent. An icy wind from the snow covered mountains greeted me. I brooded, "what am I to do with that book of Swami. How could I give it away! It was my only source of joy and consolation, whose support and companionship I sought during those deserted moments.” My mind was now determined that I would continue to keep it beneath my pillow and face the consequences. I knew it was a severe test, and my Lord would make me pass.

A week passed and nothing happened. None had come to check. One night, it was roundabout 10. I was still wide awake in my bed. The cold wind from the Himalayas whistled outside my window and it made the glass window rattle loudly. All the boys in my dormitory were fast asleep, perhaps dreaming of angels and fairies, unaware of the terror that was to strike that night.

The lights of the dormitory were suddenly put on. There stood the warden with another missionary with a thick cane in his hand, that knew no compassion. They pulled the sleeping boys out of the bed and the beds were checked. Many had comics and fairy tale books which were found beneath their beds. Blows rained upon them. The cane fell upon them terribly, its sound came rhythmically, and the cries for mercy; equally kept pace with it.

While it was freezing outside, I was perspiring profusely. I covered myself and lay still and chanted the Gayatri Mantra frantically. I could hear the soft footsteps of the missionary approaching my bed. It was my turn now. I felt a light tap. My lips went dry. My tongue refused to chant any mantram. But I felt myself yelling within, "Baba! Baba! Baba!" I opened my eyes and tried to present an innocent look. I slowly got off my bed. The missionary gave me a sarcastic smile. I was afraid, surely not of the cane, as I was cocksure that my soul would jump out before the cane could land on me. I feared the dreadful fate that awaited the book. The missionary overturned my pillow with his cane and "Sathya Sai speaks” showed itself lovingly. He looked at me ferociously. He hit the book with the cane. I felt the blow, a little cry escaped from my lips. He asked me, raising his gruff voice, "What is that I see?" I remained silent. The boys stood motionless in dreadful silence, while tears streamed down the cheeks of some. The angry missionary pounced on the book, and took it in his big rough hands. The story of Prahlada and the saviour Lord Narasimha flashed back in my mind! I stood in terror expecting him to tear it into bits. But I found the book still safe in his hands. He was staring at it and kept muttering: "Sathya Sai Speaks! Sathya Sai Speaks! Sathya Sai Speaks!" He stared at it unceasingly and after a few minutes he opened the book. The picture of our benevolent Sai stared at him. He stared at the beautiful picture and it stared back at him. I wondered what had happened to him.

A few minutes later the missionary asked me softly, "Who is he?" I was silent, and felt I had lost my voice. He repeated his question again, "Who is He?" Finding my voice, I said, "SAI BABA!" The cane fell from his hand. He stared at the picture with greater concentration. I did not know what was happening to him. Even now I am at a loss to know what happened in those few fleeting moments between the missionary and Bhagawan. It remains still a baffling mystery to me.

The missionary placed the book gently on my bed, to the astonishment of all, and tip toed out of the room. Tears of joy and gratitude trickled down my cheeks, for my beloved Lord had made me feel the warmth of His Love even in the distant Himalayan region.

MOTHER'S DAY AT SILVER JUBILEE HOME

Mother's Day was celebrated at the Silver Jubilee Home in Sungai Dua on 17 May 2009 at 11.00am.  A vegetarian buffet lunch was served to 270 residents and staff of the home and roses were distributed to all the ladies.  After lunch, there was a karaoke session where many of the residents and some of our members had rendered beautiful songs.   The happy occasion was completed with sweet ice-cream dessert.

Click below for more pictures :
http://picasaweb.google.com/ssbcned3/MotherSDay2009SilverJubileeHome17509#

Sai Spiritual Showers - Issue 2/05

I would have never expected it to have such a deep impact on my life. And yet, when I think back to my early childhood I remember listening to stories of Jesus, being so impressed by how this man lived his life, feeling a deep love for Him, and above all being so angry with 'them' for treating him so badly and finally nailing Him on a cross. So, often I thought to myself, 'Well, If I had been around I would have defended Him; I would have believed in Him.' Or, 'if only He were here now and I could spend time with Him, or meet Him, I would surely recognise Him.'

Time passed and I grew up… Then, after many years of having Sri Aurobindo and the Mother as my guiding light I finally made it to Auroville about nine years ago. Within two days of arriving there I met some old friends who had just come from Sai Baba's ashram. They told me about Him, His miracles, the Vibhuti, about His being an incarnation of God down here to help us get on with it. I saw the pictures they showed me one of them is so clearly fixed in my mind that I can still see it when I close my eyes. And after all that, I said, 'Oh well, another guru who does things. I'd better get on with my work.'

Then, a few months ago a friend of mine, here at Findhorn, handed me a book with Baba's picture on the front and said, 'This man is amazing. He walked into my life a few weeks ago, and I don't know! It's all amazing, and I was told by Baba to give you to read.' Somewhere it clicked. The picture I was shown nine years before emerged from my memory as clearly as ever, and the next day I had finished the book. Then, as if by a miracle many more books about Baba came my way; I met Baba devotees; I dreamed about Baba....

Four months later I was on my way to India admittedly with lots of doubts and fears. But I was encouraged by Baba, who says over and over again. ‘If you are not sure about what, or who, I am, come and check it out for yourself, and then make up your mind.'

Prasanthi Nilayam was amazing. As soon as I walked through the gates I was 'home', feeling the crystal clear energy of the place, refreshing to my being, and spreading peace all over me. I stayed only twelve days and in that time I felt reborn, transformed.

Soon after seeing Baba for the first time I realised I had to rid my mind of all its fears and arguments. And so I did. And the next morning I realised I was so full of untruth, and muck, and stuff it was as if someone had opened a window into my being. Suddenly there was the sun shining into me, showing me the junk!

That morning in the darshan line I knew I didn't want all this junk. I wanted to be free, and I didn’t know how to get rid of it. What to do? My mind was going at top speed, doing overtime. I needed help. A few days later, after many mind battles and insights, I ended up in the front row of the darshan line. And I knew very clearly that I could ask for Padanamaskar. As Baba passed by, I tried to get His attention by looking up, politely waiting for Him to stop, but I again realised that this is not how the universe works. Didn't God say, 'Take one step towards me and I will take ten towards you'? So I have to do it, I have to take the first step! Baba had stopped in front of me, but my mind refused to remember the word in Sanskrit! Why didn't He look at me? At this point He began to move away, and all I could get out of my mouth, in a small voice, was 'Baba, feet please?'

He stopped again, and again looked at people behind me, but not at me. Why? Screamed my mind. Almost giving up, I looked down. There was His left foot right in front of me! As I bent over, the foot moved towards me and His right foot joined the left. And I? I melted, all disappeared. Bliss! I realised it was all over when the people around me were getting up. I walked to my room about three inches above the ground, and spent the rest of the day blissed out....

My soul was re-aligned that day. I saw the world differently, and still do. I understand now, deep in my heart, what it means to surrender and receive grace. Life has never been the same since. I react to things differently. And what's more. I like it a lot better. I still feel slightly strange about the new me. What I do now is that I want to devote my life to God. In a new way. And that I need help, and a lot more grace. But I feel it will all be there at the right time. I know it. It's there every day. And somehow it's confirmed in the way Baba smiles in the picture that now hangs on my wall.

WESAK DAY 2009

Wesak Day, also known as Buddha Purnima Day, was held on 9 May 2009 at 2.00pm in NED.  Bhajans and Buddhist prayers including Triple Gems, Om Mani Padme Houng, Da Bei Jou, and the Medicine Buddha mantra was chanted to mark the auspicious festival.

SATHYA SAI RUDRA PADUKA YATRA

The Sathya Sai Rudra Paduka Yatra was held at Ramakrishna Ashram, Scotland Road, on 9 May 2009, beginning from 8.00am.  A group of Sai youths including Sai students and priests carried out the Sai Rudram Yagna and Paduka Abhishekam.

Many of our centre members were fortunate to participate in this sacred Yagna.  It was a divine experience filled with beautiful Bhajans and Rudram Chanting.

Sai Spiritual Showers - Issue 1/05

When I thought of it, it was really an impossible task to bring my mother, an octogenarian, to the Abode of Supreme Peace and Love, from the distant Himalayan land of Sikkim. But no task remains impossible once His Divine Grace is showered in abundance. A comment passed by a close friend of mine is still vivid in my memory: "You should have taken your mother earlier. Now it seems to be too late for the journey because of her advanced age and ailing health and it may not be possible for her to travel. You may consider it as impossible a task as trying to fill a bamboo cane basket with water." This in fact hurt my feelings since my dear old mother had been all the time wishing and praying to find refuge at His Lotus Feet in Prasanthi Nilayam for the last five years. Yet I did not lose heart but went on yearning and cherishing like a good optimist with all my unwavering faith in the Divine Grace of Sri Sathya Sai Baba. I had given up pessimism since the time I had come to know about Bhagawan; has HE not assured that He will not forsake those who seek refuge in HIM?

Time kept on passing swiftly and my heart too kept on throbbing all the time with a worry as to how to proceed on the long journey. Yet, with a firm and steady faith, I could muster enough courage with all the patience that could be squeezed out of an ever hopeful heart.

Ever since her young days, my mother had been allergic to the smell of petrol and she preferred to travel either on horseback or on foot rather than riding a motor vehicle in which she would feel very uncomfortable and suffered from nausea. Now, due to her old age and physical weakness, travelling by car was ruled out; more over, the doctors advised that she should not travel by plane either, because of her heart trouble. Yet, wonderfully enough, she had much courage in store to travel by all means with a sense of total submission to His Mercy. It was most encouraging to hear from her words that were steeped in devotion. "This time, the Lord will surely listen to my prayers and take me to His Divine Abode."

In January 1979, I got the rarest opportunity again in my life to be blessed by Bhagawan at Brindavanam. It was a wonderful Interview. My experience at the interview reminds me all the time that even our parents cannot love and care for us so dearly and selflessly as Swami does. His Love is impartial and infinite and He is ever ready to forgive our shortcomings and mistakes. His Love is for each and every being in Creation.

A great moment

I prayed to the Lord with hands folded, whether it was possible for me to bring my mother for His Divine Darshan. To my relief and satisfaction, Swami told me that it was possible without the least doubt and that she could travel without any fear of sickness throughout the journey. A beautiful silver locket was materialised and given to me and Swami said: that I should take it home very carefully to be given to my mother so that it would protect her all the time while proceeding on our journey and also throughout the rest of her life. After this great moment, I was once again back to my home in Gangtok, the capital of our Himalayan country, Sikkim, although my heart did not permit me to leave the portals of His Abode. To be candid with my views and to dwell upon the true experiences of my life, I do not have the least doubt that it is just because of Swami that I have been blessed with a new life, in pursuit of the real Destination.

Dwelling on the first stage of the journey from Gangtok, I would like to share with all the fact that my mother had the vision of our Beloved Lord, who seemed to be keeping pace with the speeding jeep even when she was wide awake. This happened when we were on our way from Rangpo to Tista, the two main check posts on the route from Gangtok to Siliguri, the nearest railway station. It was late in the evening of Monday, the 31st January 1983, when He granted this vision to my mother. The effect was so miraculous that she felt very happy and quite at ease. All the time, she sat in her seat, lost in an inexplicable sea of joy. It was as though the Lord of Parthi had touched her with His Divine magic. She did not feel travel sick or fatigued even as we arrived at Siliguri in the late hours of the night. We found her still fresh, hale and hearty and the arduous journey through the twisting and winding roads had not affected her in any way. We knew that this was the most difficult part of our journey. Yet this visible sign of His care and Grace inspired us to proceed on our journey without worries and fear. After this, the journey was quite pleasant and comfortable, and we arrived at Prasanthi Nilayam, the Divine Abode of Eternal Bliss.

Gifts of grace

What followed after reaching Prasanthi Nilayam can only be described as the unfolding of another chapter of how He, our Lord Sai, lives every second of the day for giving His Love to His dear and wayward children, of how He draws them to Him with all the care of a mother nursing her first born child. He granted us interviews, chiding us to crave instead, for the inner-view of our Real Self, the grandeur of the spirit, which would confer upon us the gift of Paramananda. He gave a nice and cosy room for my mother to stay in and also other gifts of His Grace. What more can a child aspire for from a mother. Even to think that the Lord cares so much for every being, even insignificant people like us, who had not been able to offer anything to HIM and had always aspired to achieve His Grace, truly unfolds volumes of His Divine Glory.

Now we all feel that the bird has at last found its refuge. It has no more destinations to reach, no more vistas to explore. This is really the final `homecoming'.

The sentiment of heartfelt gratitude that wells up within the deep recesses of my heart cannot be described in words and yet I feel so grateful to the Lord for all times to come for having opened my eyes from the deep slumber of ignorance to bring me to the path of Light and Truth.

EASWARAMMA DAY 2009

Easwaramma Day was commemorated on 6 May 2009 with a bhajan at 8.00pm.  It was followed with a short presentation on the life of Mother Easwaramma and a video clip on 'Mother's Love', a song composed and sung by Dato' Jegathesan.